juleschen's Xanga

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 06:38:40 GMT

Ode to my sister (Mrs. Szu-Wan Rita Chang Young)

I remember my first time going back to Taiwan after a number of years in the States. I was in jr. high and my sister was in high school.. The next morning after I arrived, American, broken Mandarin and all, she took me on the back of her moped and rode me through our hometown, telling me and showing me all the various places. That summer and all the subsequent summers afterwards, I could always be found on the back of my sister's moped with her. She has always taken care of me and she knew how to show me what fun was.

We both grew up. I had my own little tumultuous time in high school away from my folks and my sister went to a little private Christian college in Taiwan. Then she came out here to study in Ohio for her Master's program without ever having been out of Taiwan with the exception of travel. She did SO well transitioning to a new country by herself. She learned the ways, finished up her program, toured various parts of that area of the States. Eventually she met my brother in law, a truck driving, motorcycle riding, football refereeing, ice hockey playing white guy who's just the nicest, kindest guy in the world! Oh yeah he works in the computer industry..so he's not THAT wild. And she learned to like burritos; beans, guacomole, steak and all.

My sister has become this little silent glue in our family the last few years. She never forgets our birthdays and is constantly getting us these little practical gifts to brighten our days! She also very patiently mails me back my personal items that I accidentally leave behind in LA everytime I go to visit...my phone charger, my planner..., you know..these little essential things.

My sister recently advanced in her position at work after having only been there for less than two years!! There's nothing like good old Asian work ethic, "be respectful, mind your own business, and work hard!" I am proud of you, jie!! I am so proud of the way you've adjusted to life in CA, marriage and all that it entails, and work. I love you and I know that God loves you and will never abandon you.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 03:24:13 GMT

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

One of the best things about being overseas and being surrounded by these missionaries is the abundance of stories. You cannot be around these old saints and not fall in love with God.

One older gentleman nursed his wife through a debilitating illness for 19..yup, nineteen!! years before she finally passed away. As he was sharing this with me yesterday, watching the tears trickle down my face, he told me he wouldn't have traded those memories for anything.

"God had been, and is good." He said this with the face of a true saint..

The Christian God is a redemptive God. This means that everything in our lives can be turned for good if we believe and have faith in Him.

God desires this..

He is not a tyrant who can't be pleased. He is not looking at us in apathy. God is as tender as the most tender of mothers and as strong as the strongest of fathers. He will not stop the natural consequences of our actions, but He promises to redeem, to make purpose, to make GOOD everything of our lives if we would give ourselves to Him.

Do you believe this? God has summoned us by name.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 01:13:55 GMT

One of my students (a missionary kid) told me today he couldn't finish his homework because he was climbing his mango tree and fell off.

that cracked me up.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 01:39:01 GMT

There is such joy in serving Him overseas..

I'm obviously still in honeymoon phase. It's been a continual high..I literally walk around with half a smile on my face at all times. Right now I feel made for this. I grew up, was taught to be very comfortable with different cultures..total social chameleon. I love that my parents took us traveling so much around the world...I love that I got to spend so many of my summers in Taiwan. I love that I've been gifted with the ability to fall in deep sleep anywhere and I can "go" (bathroom speak) anywhere. The crazy traffic, the smoke, the crowds don't faze me. And neither does the other extreme of the dirt road, the shacks, the country side.

I'm trying hard to learn the language here. It's been a few phrases here and there. "Kamustika?" (it's just like como estas? ..how're you) "Salaamat!" I make myself talk to the natives here..ahh this is where my people skills are helping the most! It's nice to see them feel useful and get a few laughs at my expense b/c I make so many blunders...

Ministry with the missionary kids is going well. The kids text message me and ask me the funnest questions "What is your favret color?" lol...It's 9:00 at night and that is my most pressing question at hand..=) One has asked if I can move in with their family..I understand them a bit more easily and readily b/c I grew up for periods of time without my immediate family, I've traveled some to be able to know a little of almost every place they're from. They're cultural mutts like me..not quite white but not quite asian either..

All I can think is that it was absolutely PERFECT timing that I came out here when I did. I would have had so many unresolved issues, no experience, been so much more immature if I'd come here right after college. Now, I can look at the future with more sobriety and pray with more confidence and experience of Him.

I know I'm still in honeymoon phase. =)

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 05:39:16 GMT

My dad is too funny! =) He has a Xanga site now (just to comment) and in a very short amount of time has grown to be more tech saavy than I could ever hope to be!!

So, I'm very aware of what I'm called to do this next year in the Philippines, but it doesn't stop me from dreaming dreams..=)

(all of this is of course is open to my Father..He knows what's better for me than I do)

My dreams are this... 1. Learn another language fluently 2. Join a missions organization as a member 3. Participate in a triathlon (ok..this one is FAR future) 4. Teach at a seminary 5. Work with a translation team for an unreached group 6. Write a children's book and get it published. 7. Raise a family 8. Raise funds, education, and medical services for an orphanage 9. Learn Greek and Hebrew 10. Travel to Greece, Egypt, and tour the Middle East. 11. Share the gospel with my grandparents 12. Write a script..get over my stage fright and act in a community play. .....this is ALL too fun...

For now though..I'm to stick to the BIC principle (butt in chair) and draft up curriculum and lesson plans for junior high language arts and Bible for the rest of the semester. =) After I'm done with that..I can go on with the rest!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 05:26:10 GMT

John 1 and a prayer request

The first chapter of the book of John is dense and rich. I'd never realized it until this morning. In that first chapter alone, God spells out a little bit of who He is as well as who we become when we receive Him.

He is light, He is the Word, He became flesh and dwelt amongst us, He is the One and Only...we become His children and enter into light. This is powerful because it summarizes part of the gospel.

It is easy to be away in another country and get caught up in the work and forget the One who makes this work purposeful. Still, here I see people who have learned the joy of surrender and contentment regardless of circumstance. If He has called, He will provide. I see more happy, content Christians here on average than I do back at home. (either that or they're hiding something (wink)

I am focused here because the distractions are limited. There's nothing like it. Lately, a whole bunch of visions and dreams for His work come penetrating in my mind throughout the day, but I realized last night I'm not to make any major decisions the next few months.

I'm to simply grow in enjoying God and loving others. This is my prayer request for the next few months! I won't send it out on yahoogroups..but please pray for me in this.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 00:32:37 GMT

HELLO PEEEPS!! I arrived yesterday just in time for dinner. Was picked up by SIL staff and sent to guest housing. Slept very well, woke up at 5 a.m. had my quiet times and have been meeting people, etc. since. today am setting up my classroom. I am VERY thankful that i have three years of teaching experience under my belt. Looking into the new classroom with its empty walls, and being given curricululm on teaching bible and language arts won't be as daunting.

Have been worried the most about my inclination towards disillusionment. But this morning's talk with the principal excited me. He was orienting me on all the families at the school and their various work. It was important for me that I could grasp the big picture right away..

One family takes care of an orphanage, another prostitution ministry, one korean family equips natives at a nearby seminary, others church plants, one specifically a basketball ministry, and others literacy and translation work...

It's been good. Asia is a good place for me to be..i realized this at the airport being able to converse in both mandarin and english....pace of life here is slower which i enjoy..and the potential for community development and getting to simply love on the families of the various organizations and their children will be rewarding.

I am not homesick yet. the staff here is supportive and kind. I wish more that I could transplant friends back at home here. The need is great for more workers. I can see myself visioning and working with greater purpose here...But devotions this morning reminded me a day at a time...

I definitely miss everybody and it was good to have friends over my last night to pray for me. I'll be home in ten months.. =)

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 21:48:05 GMT

Two surprises the last two days that caused me to break down in tears

1. Joyce brought me a leather bound BROWN journal (my fav color), various pictures from this past year of the girls, a friendship bracelet she made in Ethiopia and a big hug. Oh man..I started crying. She knows exactly what gets me.
2. This morning my brother in law, Jeff, and my sister drove up from LA to spend the weekend with me. I had NO idea. The two of them walked into our family's favorite kroean restaurant as we were about to order..it didn't hit me for a few minutes that it was them...and then of course the tears just came trickling..

The family is downstairs playing mah-jong as I'm upstairs packing...two more days folks! two more days...=)

Monday, July 18, 2005

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 17:12:16 GMT

This morning had breakfast with an elder and his wife from Home of Christ (fifth home) They initiated hanging out with me and have told me they'll be praying for me throughout this year. hmm..I love godly older folks. They're nourishment to the soul!!! They are both incredibly missions minded and work hard to equip churches and ministries in Asia. hmm....i lub it~

These are a few reminders from them:
1. courage does not equate to spiritual maturity. many missionaries out there are not very spiritual folks, so I have to be careful to surround myself and pray constantly with spiritual Christians on the field to keep from being isolated and forgetting the ultimate purpose.
2. I must spend regular time in the Word and and in prayer to keep that dependence on Him. It's very easy to get disillusioned with the organization, the area, the people, but if I allow the Spirit to shape my perspective it will be fine.
3. Where I'm going is not a safe area. I'm an easy target since I'm chinese, young and female and will be seen as a person with lots of wealth. (i took self defense one time..hmmm)
4. Spend some time with my mom before I go and pray for patience. =) it is not wrong what i'm doing, I've simply been learning this past year the biblical principal of leaving and cleaving..(in this case to Christ) but moms are moms.
5. The right person is worth waiting for. better single than wishing you weren't, or even just married to the right person with no children is ok as well. (i highly agree with both points) And I'm also a work in progress.. ;)

hmmmm...I love going for runs early in the morning. Nothing like having already accomplished a third of the things you want to do before noon. =) I think this past half a year has been the happiest period of time for me since graduating. But realized the last four years weren't wasted either...not at all. Nothing is lost in God's economy.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 06:36:05 GMT

I want to boast about Christ before I leave. He's been SOOOO,SOOOO incredibly wonderful to me. (even though I sin and I waver constantly!!)

in brokenness, when I took a step of faith last year and demanded God to prove to me that He's my Father and cherishes me, He did. He did it many times, but concretely, three times.
1.He gave me Dr. Eckman's words (my professor at the seminary) "God is FOR you..you must be happy and healthy before you leave, you must step out NOT in heroic, self-grandeur kind of risk, but in faith that God will provide"
2. He gave me an image of a father carrying his disabled son through a triathlon at WCC (a missions conference) That was the most powerful visual of a father's love I'd ever seen.
3. He gave me Matthews 3 through a study which told me on a heart level that God is stinkin' pleased with me.
Each one completely humbled, still, and reassured me. It healed me of many of the residues of childhood brokenness. He doesn't waver, but I still do even between the "proofs"

Then I took a step of faith and started saying yes to God-given dreams and no to others' expectations of me. I asked that He would take care of me b/c I'd always talked theoretical, but felt scared about living it.

I resigned from my job, and wasn't sure how my work was going to react. (Well, they offered me a position back the following year..completely unheard of for a teacher who's not tenured, I was a nominee for teacher of the year, was thrown a fat little party at the end, AND had the supportive prayers of my principal and many other co-workers upon me leaving..all this.completely unexpected..just blows my mind looking back)

I said yes to the Philippines and Wycliffe. I've grown to enjoy this organization more than other ones I've worked with. There is an excitement going into this and a potential for a stronger vision than before.. (AND I'm almost fully funded. I expect to be fully funded before I leave)

In terms of my family, my dad and I have another great connection because of the linguistic aspect of Wycliffe. We talked on the phone for an hour last time just discussing it. My mom is leaving me alone, has stopped harping on me about living a "normal" life b/c she sees how happy and determined I am.

And it keeps going. How could I doubt that God will provide? He will take care of me if I trust Him. It's ME that falters, and ME that tries to find life in "broken cisterns" rather than the "living well." Pray for continual faith, trust, and not fear!!